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26 April 2010 @ 08:20 pm
Fic: ‘rumination and memories: Padmé.’  
Title: rumination and memories: Padmé.
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: (G)
Time Period: AotC: before Padmé and Anakin leave for Naboo.
Summary: Obi-Wan visits Padmé to exact a promise.

Author's Note: Part III of VI.

Disclaimer
All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of Lucas; I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by him.


_______________________


It is a blaze of glory. The constant flame of a candle. It can ignite the stars with its purity and passion or it might burn steadily in the embers of one’s heart and spirit. It is as much a part of us as the air we breathe. Were I to ask a Jedi, I might be gifted with the answer that love is part of the Force.

I would not disagree.

Padmé Amidala


My arms are folded about myself as I study the traffic zooming in its straight lines that, if confused, will dive very easily into chaos. Caught in my observances, I don’t hear the door open and close behind me. What a picture I must present to the Jedi who entered, hair freed from Senatorial headdress, cloak loosely wrapped around my shoulders; dishevelled and unkempt. The only light in the room are from lights whose intensity is set low.

“Padmé,” he speaks quietly. “Senator Amidala,” he corrects himself. “Might I have a moment of your time?”

I turn slowly, ensuring the cloak is still close to me. Slowly, my thoughts turn from love and its many nuances to the visitor standing before me. “You may, Jedi Knight.” My voice is distant. I am surprised to find him here; I hope my surprise is not something of which he is aware.

Obi-Wan clears his throat, his expression uncomfortable. “I have come to apologise for my abruptness at the Halls of Healing.”

“You were within your rights as a Jedi to ask me to cease my argument,” I quietly tell him. “I had no right to behave as I did. My only concern, my worry, was for Anakin.”

“Were you worried as an old friend,” he begins softly, “or from an attachment that cannot be?”

“You ask questions to matters to which you already suspect an answer,” I reply. “Your opinions have been formed, based on what you suspect and do not know, so whatever I say will be tainted.”

“I assure you, my words will not be tainted by what I do not know,” he promises. “I have only come to apologise.”

“And?” I prompt; I know when there are things left unsaid. If left that way, they can be dangerous. I do not believe in what is left unsaid; I prefer, when being visited in my home at this hour, openness.

“I have also come to ask that you maintain friendship only, with Anakin. What you displayed at the Halls of Healing were feelings that bordered on love.”

“Is not friendship, compassion, a form of love?”

“It depends upon your point of view. I would not say they were not but love, attachment, for Jedi is forbidden and it cannot be encouraged. Do not encourage Anakin’s feelings to become more than they should be.”

“What will happen if it does?”

“Expulsion from the Jedi Order,” he answers matter-of-factly. “Anakin has the potential to become a great Jedi. Let him become that Jedi.”

“You ask too much of him. He is only a boy.”

“A padawan,” he corrects. “He chose this life –”

“He was won,” I counter. “You only countenanced his presence in your life because your Master won him from a junk shop owner. You did not want him.”

There is a pulse along his jaw; I have struck too closely to an old wound that possibly has not properly healed. “I took him as my padawan according to Qui-Gonn’s wishes, yes. He has become my brother over the years I have trained him. I would not betray him in any way and seek only to protect him in this matter.”

“Is this not betrayal, coming to ask me to ensure any feelings do not naturally progress?” My cheeks flush; the cloak falls to the ground, a dark pool behind me. “I cannot speak for Anakin but what if my feelings become more than they are?” What if they are already more than what they should be, what you ask? remains unasked; I tread too closely to a line that should not exist.

“I ask you to not allow that to happen,” he steps to me, hand extended. “I ask you to be only his friend and no more.”

His hand lands on my arm and I glance down to it before I look up; he is closer than I realised and my eyes are caught by his. I swallow. “Obi-Wan, I ...” The words cannot come to my lips; they are caught in my throat, ensnared by his closeness. He has changed, so much, since I had last seen him on Naboo; the grieving newly-entitled Knight and his padawan. “I will not allow it to become more than friendship,” I finally whisper. “Will you make a promise in return?”

He smiles crookedly, faintly; he squeezes my arm lightly. “Anything, Senator Amidala,” he replies.

A finger presses lightly against his lips. “Call me Padmé when we are alone,” I say.

“I promise,” he says once my finger is removed from his lips, “to call you Padmé when we are alone.”

“Thank you.” I swallow quietly and step back a little, in order to pick up my cloak. I wince when I crouch; Obi-Wan immediately catches my arm, pulling me upward until I am standing and he, not without his own wincing, picks up my cloak and lays it over my arm. “Thank you once again,” I smile.

“It was my pleasure.” He now steps away and half-bows from the waist. I watch as he departs. I turn back to the window, wrapping the cloak around me once more.
 
 
 
Angel... Dark Wings Descending...: obidalaangel_in_tears on April 26th, 2010 11:24 am (UTC)
I love Obi-Wan coming to tell her off about Anakin, and how she asks him to call her Padme when they're alone.
F. J.: Lantern & Candles: Warmmorethanacandle on April 26th, 2010 12:37 pm (UTC)
I love Obi-Wan coming to tell her off about Anakin, and how she asks him to call her Padme when they're alone.
I’d read somewhere that Obi-Wan had actually done this in the EU for the prequels and I was wanting to flesh it out/give it my own touches from what I had read (which had contained the details that he had visited and exacted the promise) – hence her asking him to call her Padmé.
Armchair DM: Igor: Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!armchairdm on April 26th, 2010 01:01 pm (UTC)
I like this - I really like it. As always; this story fits perfectly within the canon - there's even hints in this story she's either in love, or very close to it, with Anakin at this point.
F. J.: Lantern & Candles: Warmmorethanacandle on April 27th, 2010 05:20 am (UTC)
Thank you.
"MJ": Obidala (facing each other)londongirl27 on May 4th, 2010 10:55 pm (UTC)
I must say - I was pleasantly surprised by Padme's request. For a moment, I thought she was going to ask a favor from Obi-wan regarding Anakin. How sweet that it turned out to be something simpler and more intimate. Nice touch there. ♥
F. J.: Three candlesmorethanacandle on May 5th, 2010 01:48 pm (UTC)
Nice touch there. ♥
Anakin didn't feel as though he felt in that moment and her request, for Obi-Wan to call her by name, fit so much better in that moment.