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02 April 2010 @ 05:32 am
Fic: ‘The apple, the salt & the flying penguins.’  
Title: The apple, the salt & the flying penguins.
Fandom: Doctor Who.
Rating: (G)
Time Period: During the 9th Doctor's time.
Summary: A laugh – but who gets the last one?

Author's Note: This is quick ‘n’ dirty (for definition see the F. A. Q.).

I commented idly I was going to write this story, really quick and dirty, for April Fool’s Day. I wasn’t certain I was going to do it but, somehow, I ended up writing it just for a quick laugh!

All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of the BBC; I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by them.


Rose sat at the counter, ostensibly waiting for the chips to arrive. She’d caught sight of a newspaper and the Doctor was probably expecting something like this (or he mightn’t be; no one ever knew with the Doctor) but it’d be fun to do something so silly. Her mother would say she had no sense but her mother wasn’t here now, was she?

Rose waggled her fingers at the girl behind the counter, to catch her attention; the girl came over. “Can I help you miss?”

“Yeah, look,” Rose held the salt shaker to her, “can you fill this with sugar for me, then bring it to the table where I’m sitting, yeah, when you bring the chips?” She grinned. “I’m just trying to cheer him up and it’d be really great if you could make sure the lid’s loose so when he tips it ...”

“Got it,” the girl nodded.

“Thanks,” Rose glanced quickly at her name-tag, “Janelle.” She shoved her hands in her pockets and strolled back to the table where the Doctor was studying the outside. People were walking by and it seemed like a very ordinary day, Rose thought as she slid into the seat opposite. “The chips won’t be a minute.”

“Good, good,” the Doctor replied distractedly. Then he looked at Rose. “What’s that?”

Rose didn’t roll her eyes. “The chips,” she repeated slowly, “won’t be a minute.”

“Good, good.” He returned to staring out the window; Rose noticed, following his gaze, that he was staring at the sky.

Janelle placed the plate on the table between them, putting the salt shaker on the Doctor’s side. “That’ll be all?” She asked, smiling at the Doctor and when he wasn’t looking, she winked at Rose.

“Yep!” The Doctor replied sprightly. “Thanks!”

Janelle went back to the counter and started wiping it down. Rose picked up a chip, took a bite and grimaced. “Needs some salt, yeah?”

The Doctor picked up a particularly fat chip and studied it. “It’s got salt on it,” he commented. “More than enough I’d say.”

“Taste this one,” she held out her chip. “Not enough.”

He shook his head. “Sometimes,” he began as he picked up the shaker, “I wonder how stupid humans really –”

Rose burst into laughter as the lid of the shaker flew off it and its contents went in every direction, including over the chips. “... or Time Lords,” she finished.

“Or Time Lords,” he agreed, picking up a chip and he’d just taken a bite when he spat it out suddenly. “Why’d you swe—oh, very funny,” he looked at her closely. “Not content with the one joke, were you?” Rose shook her head while she attempted to swallow her laughter but failed; instead, she gave in to her giggles. The Doctor pulled an apple from an inside pocket of his jacket. “Lucky for you, I brought my own food.” Rose covered her mouth with her hands as she recognised the apple; she’d had a busy morning ever since they’d landed in the TARDIS and she’d seen the date. The Doctor took a bite and ... “Oy!” He held the apple before his eyes and saw the gummi worm.

Rose dissolved into snickergiggles.

He shrugged and took the bite; it still tasted good. Then he looked back to the sky again. Once more, Rose followed his gaze. “You’ve been staring at the sky all morning,” she crossed her arms and leaned on the table, avoiding the sugar; she was definitely not having those chips now. “Is something going to happen?”

“Nope!” He cheerfully replied and kept staring at the sky.

Janelle noticed them both looking at the sky when she came to collect the uneaten chips and clean the sugar away. She glanced out the window but she couldn’t see anything they might be looking at so she cleared the table and went to take another order. When she was gone, the Doctor pushed a newspaper over to Rose – it was the same one she’d looked at briefly that morning. “I’m looking for those,” the Doctor stated calmly.

Rose looked at the newspaper; the Doctor had pointed to a story about Antarctic penguins. She looked at the Doctor once more. “... penguins?”

“That’s them!” He whipped the newspaper back and tucked it inside his jacket; Rose noticed he seemed to have a lot of room under that jacket this morning. “Came all the way from the Antarctic to England and put in a zoo. I’m waiting to see them.”

“From a fish and chip shop?” She asked incredulously. “Penguins?”

“They need to eat don’t they?” He asked seriously. “Besides, they’ll be flying.”

“Flying penguins?”

He grinned brilliantly. “That’s them!” He pointed at the sky. “And there’s one now! Watch the miracle of nature!”

Rose blinked and rubbed her eyes before staring once more out the window. “That’s a ...”

“Yep! Isn’t it brilliant?” The Doctor asked before he stood and looked to his companion. “Shall we go and get a closer look?”

“Are you serious?”

He pouted, looking faux-hurt. “Don’t you trust me?”

“I do but ... flying penguins?”

He offered his arm and waited. “Let’s go!”

She stood, accepted his arm and joyful glee was written over her face. “Let’s go!” She nodded and they walked out the shop, with the Doctor trying not to laugh.
Armchair DM: Matt's Cats: New Toy!armchairdm on April 2nd, 2010 11:00 am (UTC)
Oh this is awesome. Jack obviously, and definitely Rose I can see getting into April Fool's Day pranks. Never expected it of the Doctor though (except maybe Doc4). But it is so brilliantly in character.
F. J.: Lanterns: Warmmorethanacandle on April 2nd, 2010 12:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Never expected it of the Doctor though (except maybe Doc4). But it is so brilliantly in character.
Again, thank you! It just seemed very in character for ninth incarnation of the Doctor.
denshi_no_ultra: doctor whodenshi_no_ultra on April 2nd, 2010 07:08 pm (UTC)
Nice fic! It is perfectly in character for Rose to participate in such pranks, and what do you know, Nine has a sense of humour under that serious exterior :D

Thanks for writing the fic, it was cute and funny, and I really enjoyed it!
F. J.: Golden Candlesmorethanacandle on April 3rd, 2010 05:09 am (UTC)
It is perfectly in character for Rose to participate in such pranks, and what do you know, Nine has a sense of humour under that serious exterior :D
When I began writing, it all just seemed to click for Nine; I could easily see him doing something like this!

Thanks for writing the fic, it was cute and funny, and I really enjoyed it!
You’re welcome, thank you for reading and commenting and that’s wonderful to know!

Edited at 2010-04-03 05:14 am (UTC)