?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
30 January 2010 @ 04:25 am
Fic: ‘Fight for me.’  
Title: Fight for me.
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: (G)
Time Period: During RotS; Padmé’s death scene.
Summary: A final moment.

Author's Note: This is quick ‘n’ dirty (for definition see the F. A. Q. or check this post for the definition).

I’d meant to write this sooner but events and other stories kept happening! I also wasn’t certain if I really wanted to write this particular scene.


Disclaimer
All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of Lucas; I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by him.


_______________________


The twins had been taken away by the med droids to be checked for any abnormalities; he doubted there would be any. Her breath was catching at short intervals, breathing so faint it could barely be discerned; he leaned closer to hear, his hands gripping the edge of where she lay tightly as he did. Her eyes were closed, fluttering open only for a few moments now and then. He could sense her life was failing.

Aware of the eyes upon him from the viewing gallery as the Alderaanian ambassador and the Grand Master of the Jedi watched, he waited even as her breathing slowed still further. One hand grasped one of hers, hidden from the audience above him by his body. There were no recording devices in the room but that didn’t matter; he didn’t care. None of it mattered.

Her eyes opened.

“Don’t leave me,” he whispered as a droid entered; these were her words and hers alone. “Fight.”

“I’ve been fighting my entire life, Obi-Wan.” Her response was fainter than he’d expected; he leaned closer, his breath warming already cooling skin. “Fight for me.”

In his tight hold, her hand relaxed. He bowed his head, allowing the soft tears to fall. The med droid, picking up only one life form aside from itself in the room, came to check for life signs.

“Obi-Wan?” Bail leaned closer to the speaker near him, holding the button down so he could speak.

Yoda remained still, silent.

His only response was to shake his head and release her hand. He drew in a deep, slow breath and left the room.

But not without a backward glance to where she lay and before the med droid made its pronouncement.
 
 
 
Nataliebriseis_kenobi on January 29th, 2010 06:12 pm (UTC)
That was so beautiful:)
I've got tears in my eyes. I love all your Obidala fics.
F. J.: Three candlesmorethanacandle on January 29th, 2010 07:07 pm (UTC)
That was so beautiful:)
Thank you – I wasn’t certain, when writing, how it would turn out. I’m glad that it was beautiful for you.

I've got tears in my eyes.
This might sound ‘mean’ in some way, but I’m glad you do – I had tears in my eyes when writing this story! I’m really glad I wasn’t the only one with tears!

I love all your Obidala fics.
Thank you! That’s very lovely to hear. I hope you continue to like them!
kenobifan: obidala ROTC blue circleslealynnkenobi on January 30th, 2010 03:46 am (UTC)
Cry me a river!

So heart-wrenching.

Wonderful Obidala. :)
F. J.: Lanterns: Warmmorethanacandle on January 30th, 2010 08:11 am (UTC)
Cry me a river!

So heart-wrenching.

Should I have put a warning for tissues at the start of this one?

Wonderful Obidala. :)
Thank you!
Armchair DM: Carson: No no no AIEEE!!armchairdm on January 30th, 2010 09:04 am (UTC)
You know, this shouldn't affect me really. But it's made me sadder than the actual movie did; or indeed a number of other sad events from various shows and movies I've watched. Last time I remember being sadder was during Season 5 of Buffy!
F. J.: Lantern & Candles: Warmmorethanacandle on January 30th, 2010 10:42 am (UTC)
Thank you. I don't know how this was done but thank you.
Angel... Dark Wings Descending...: padmecantbelievemyeyesangel_in_tears on January 30th, 2010 11:06 am (UTC)
Oh that was heart wrenching :( and so beautiful! Nice work!
F. J.: Lanterns: Warmmorethanacandle on January 30th, 2010 12:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
noobianrose: O/P turn aroundnoobianrose on January 31st, 2010 09:35 pm (UTC)
AW!! *sniffs* That was really beautiful. The dialogue is really powerful. Great fic.
F. J.: Golden Candlesmorethanacandle on February 1st, 2010 05:41 am (UTC)
AW!! *sniffs* That was really beautiful.
-offers tissues.- Thank you - I wasn't certain if it would be seen as beautiful or over-the-top somehow.

The dialogue is really powerful.
And now I can let out a sigh of relief; it's good to know that the dialogue works!

Great fic.
Thank you! That's really good to hear after writing this one - I was a bit teary eyed when writing it and didn't feel to be a good judge about whether or not it worked as a whole!
emivemiv on February 4th, 2010 01:00 am (UTC)
So sad, so poignant, and so very clear—it has been awhile since I’ve sat down and read some of your fic, but the way you fit so much into so few words always amazes me. It is inspiring, really.

One hand grasped ones of hers, hidden from the audience above him by his body. There were no recording devices in the room but that didn’t matter; he didn’t care. None of it mattered.

This part was the heart of it, for me. Not sure why, something about the implied decorum typical of Obi-Wan not mattering in that moment. Lovely and sad.

he leaned closer, his breath warming already cooling skin.

Oh, that description. Brava.

Yoda remained still, silent.

Of course he did. Yoda knows all; he’s been on to them for years. :) Seriously, though, very in character.

Overall, a very well written piece. Thought I’ve never been a fan of that scene in the film (not only was it tragic, but the ‘death from a broken heart’ bit always annoyed me some.), but I must say that I certainly favor your version over the official one. ;)
F. J.: Lanterns: Warmmorethanacandle on February 4th, 2010 10:31 am (UTC)
it has been awhile since I’ve sat down and read some of your fic, but the way you fit so much into so few words always amazes me. It is inspiring, really.
That’s very humbling to hear – I hope it’s good inspiration.

I also dislike shoving a lot into a large amount of words when not using as many can be just as, if not more, effective than using lots and lots of words can be.

This part was the heart of it, for me. Not sure why, something about the implied decorum typical of Obi-Wan not mattering in that moment. Lovely and sad.
I had a feeling that he wouldn’t feel that anything really mattered at that moment – I’m glad I followed that feeling and didn’t rewrite that moment.

Overall, a very well written piece. Thought I’ve never been a fan of that scene in the film (not only was it tragic, but the ‘death from a broken heart’ bit always annoyed me some.), but I must say that I certainly favor your version over the official one. ;)
Thank you. One question, however: with the amount of times you mentioned ‘sad’, combined with the other comments, do you think I should’ve put a warning to have some tissues nearby? Just a thought that’s beginning to occur to me …

Thank you; this wasn’t a scene that I was thinking ever to touch until I saw artphilia’s icon and wondered if I could touch upon it. I’m glad I was able to provide some alternative to that scene for someone!