Log in

No account? Create an account
17 December 2011 @ 11:47 pm
Fic: ‘Tis the Season: ‘Some smacker!’  
Title: ‘Tis the Season: Some smacker!
Fandom: Harry Potter (movies)
Rating: (G)
Time Period: Sometime after or during Harry Potter & the Philosopher’s Stone.
Summary: That was some smacker!

Author's Note: This is quick ‘n’ dirty (for definition see the F. A. Q.).

I recently played chess on a Harry Potter-inspired board. Which led me to thinking about the wizard’s chess set that’s underground at Hogwarts. Then I got to thinking about the Christmas party of the chess pieces and them getting drunk on hot chocolate as well as a pawn getting fresh with a Queen.

My imagination does wild and wacky things during ‘Tis the Season!

All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of J. K. Rowling as well as Steve Kloves (his interpretation); I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by either.


“Oi! Bill! ‘ave summa dis!”

“I’s Will!”

“Yer Bill! Will’s o’er dere!” A mace points, wonkily, at the wall.

“I’s gonna give Rosie a smacker!”

“She’s go’ dat sword! Wotchit!”

His helmet straight (or so he thinks), shield slung over a shoulder, Bill stretches before he stands; being crouched all the time does nothing, he thinks, for the posture. Some tinsel dangles from his helmet. With a toothy grin, he pulls it free. A mug of hot chocolate in his other hand, he shambles towards Rosie.

He can’t quite reach her shoulder so he taps on her shield. When she turns, he hands her his mug, coughs a little to clear his throat and reaches around her with the tinsel, pulling her closer.

The next he knows, he’s flying through the air accompanied by the raucous guffaws of everyone else – except the bishops in the corner, who cross themselves solemnly and shake their heads.

Bill slumps against the wall; Rosie lifts her visor and sips from his mug. Bill grins lopsidedly as he slides down the wall; his eyes roll back and he passes out.

Next to him, his helmet rings against the stone floor as it lands.
Armchair DM: Igor: Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!armchairdm on December 17th, 2011 01:08 pm (UTC)
Oh wow. This is... um... very interesting. Who knew chess pieces had such interesting lives when they weren't being used in a game of chess?
F. J.: shalowater: golden candlesmorethanacandle on December 17th, 2011 02:06 pm (UTC)
Who knew chess pieces had such interesting lives when they weren't being used in a game of chess?
Getting drunk on hot chocolate at their Christmas party?
Angel... Dark Wings Descending...: LOTRarwenlovedyingdayangel_in_tears on December 18th, 2011 03:33 am (UTC)
HAH! Love it :D It's hilarious :D
F. J.: shalowater: golden candlesmorethanacandle on December 18th, 2011 12:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Between these guys and the puppy, my imagination's been feeling busy!

Edited at 2011-12-18 12:53 pm (UTC)