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13 December 2011 @ 11:03 pm
Fic: ‘Tis the Season: ‘They're real!’  
Title: ‘Tis the Season: They’re real!
Fandom: M&Ms.
Rating: (G)
Time Period: Christmas Eve night to early Christmas morning!
Summary: They’re all real!

Author's Note: This is quick ‘n’ dirty (for definition see the F. A. Q.).

I’ve been seeing this Christmas advertisement on television about M&Ms and Santa. I couldn’t help but write this; I wanted to see what came before that moment in the advertisement!

All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of the manufacturers of M&Ms; I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by them.


Snip! Snip! Snip!

The curls of paper fall away and pop! the picture is free. Peanut grins, puts the scissors on the ground and the freed picture on the tray. “Red!” He calls. “Reeeed!”

“What?” Red demands, looking around the doorway at Peanut.

“It’s ready!” Peanut proudly announces, holding up the tray.

“Where’s the food for Santa?”

“Right here,” Peanut replies, confused. Red raises an eyebrow and steps into the room, walking to Peanut and peering at the tray.

Between two fingers, he lifts the picture by a corner and looks at Peanut. “Really?”

Peanut frowns. “Whassa matter? It’s got carrots for the reindeer, cookies for Santa and a drink.” He points to each item in the picture Red’s holding.

“It’s a picture. Well,” he thoughtfully looks at the picture “this is more real than Santa.”

Peanut gasps, horrified by Red’s heresy! “Santa’s real!”

“No he’s not,” Red lazily drawls. “C’mon. I’ll prove it.”

How?” Peanut asks suspiciously.

“We’ll go see. And if he is real, I’ll give him some food myself.”

“What kind of food?” Peanut still remembers Gary and how close they had come to being eaten.

“Christmas M&Ms,” Red declares and leads Peanut down the hall. “We’ll clean up your mess later,” he dismisses with a small wave of his hand before pushing Peanut into the kitchen.

Peanut watches – after Red throws an apple and turns on the light – while Red clambers onto the counter and starts opening cupboards. First a large (plastic) bowl is found and then the tub of mint M&Ms.

“... ngh!” Red grunts between gritted teeth as he pulls on the lid.

“Psst! Red!” Peanut hisses. “Red!”

“--what?” Red sputters, glaring at Peanut.

“Throw me the tub!” Peanut whispers, holding his hands out.

Red pauses, staring at Peanut. “What!?”

“Throw me the tub!” Peanut repeats, his hands still out. Red throws the tub. Hard. Peanut catches it and lands on his bottom, holding the tub close. “Now the bowl!”

It lands atop Peanut’s head. “Nice hat,” Red remarks when he’s on the floor. Peanut ignores him, pops the lid of the tub and pours the contents of the tub into the bowl once he’s got it off his head.

Red picks up the bowl and starts walking down the hall.

“Red!” A small pause; Red doesn’t stop. “Red!”


“It’s dark down there,” Peanut mumbles.

“It was dark when we came down it!”

“You were shoving me!”

Red sighs and walks back into the kitchen, hands Peanut the bowl and looks under the sink. Then he climbs onto the counter again. And walks around till he comes to two different cupboards. He finds a candlestick in one, and a candle in the other and he shoves the candle into the candlestick; candles, now free, tumble around him and roll onto the floor. Red shrugs, stands on tiptoe to peer at a higher shelf, reaches up, fumbles around ...

Eventually, the candle is lit and Red climbs down after handing the candlestick to Peanut.

“I’ll take this?” Peanut points at the candle.

Red groans, takes the candle away from Peanut, setting it safely on the ground before shoving the bowl into Peanut’s hands. “I’ll take the light,” Red announces before walking down the hall.

Again. This time, Peanut follows.

Suddenly, deep within the dark at the end of the hall, a clock chimes.

Bing. Bong. Bing. Bong!

“It’s Christmas day,” Peanut excitedly squeaks. Red rolls his eyes and turns into the living room.

A bright roaring fire crackles in the hearth, casting a rosy glow over the nearby Christmas tree which is resplendent in twinkling tinsel and shiny baubles. Stockings hang from the mantle over the fireplace; one is filled with a nectarine in the toe and a jolly brown teddy bear waves from its top. Next to the tree stands a rounded gentleman in a brilliant red suit and black boots.

“Santa?” Peanut incredulously asks. The man turns. Red’s jaw drops just before his eyes roll up and back.

“He’s real,” he murmurs and then smacks the floor.

“They’re real!” The old man says at precisely before he too lands on the floor.

Peanut cautiously approaches, bowl still in his hands. “Santa?” He asks the soles of the big man’s boots. Then he faints, mint M&Ms all over the floor around him.

The smoke alarm rings in strident, urgent tones.
Angel... Dark Wings Descending...: rapunzelpanpurpleangel_in_tears on December 14th, 2011 12:16 pm (UTC)
This is AWESOME. Ridiculously awesome. I love it :D ♥
F. J.: shalowater: golden candlesmorethanacandle on December 14th, 2011 01:48 pm (UTC)
I just couldn’t resist this idea when I thought of it and they came to mind so easily thanks to that advertisement and the one where hostages could be eaten (“I think hye means Gary!”). =P
Armchair DMarmchairdm on December 17th, 2011 01:31 pm (UTC)
*snickering* Oh. My. Goodness. This is just... wow. Awwwweeeessssooommmmmeeee.
F. J.: shalowater: golden candlesmorethanacandle on December 17th, 2011 02:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you!