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27 April 2010 @ 06:24 pm
Fic: ‘rumination and memories: Padmé.’  
Title: rumination and memories: Padmé.
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: (G)
Time Period: Post RotS: some months afterward.
Summary: A message arrives for Obi-Wan.

Author's Note: Part VI of VI.

The original ending for this story was with the last part: Padmé dies and there’re words left unsaid. However, it felt that were words still left to be said and that they were from Padmé. So this was written, tying the other parts together into an AU although they can stand alone.


Disclaimer
All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of Lucas; I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by him.


_______________________


Or it can open your heart and set you free.
Padmé Amidala



Near a busy street stall on Tatooine, Obi-Wan is given a small handheld holoprojector. He doesn’t see who gives it to him nor does he know from whom it comes; the futhork along the side gives him a clue. He waits until he is at his small hut near the Jundland Wastes before he sits to discern its purpose.

It doesn’t take long to decipher - he has to remember his lessons in futhork – and an image of a familiar figure flares into view. Dressed in a white gown, it clings to her body which has a red robe wrapped around it. Her hair is loose, flowing, and his breath catches. He remembers the robe. He remembers the gown.

He knows when this was recorded.

Obi-Wan, I am sorry you are seeing this as it means I have died.

I kept my promise: nothing happened between Anakin and I. He desired it but I did not. My heart belonged elsewhere.

With someone else.


There is a short pause. He feels the beginning of tears. He blinks them away.

With you.

Please ensure, if you can, the safety of our baby as I am no longer able to do so. I say this in the hope that, if I have died, our baby is alive. I refuse to believe otherwise.

Remember your heart, Obi-Wan. I ask only that you keep it open, not only to the Force but to life.


He refuses to cry. Rapid blinking helps keeps the tears away.

It will, I hope, allow you to be free and to live your life as fully as you can.

I loved, and love, you.


The figure fades. He stands, walks to the door and squats outside, as the suns set, and holds his head in his hands. There is no memorial cup he can cast into nearby waters. There is nothing but the memory of the love that accepted, strengthened and asked nothing in return. Even now, after death, nothing was asked. He gave up nothing.

He lost everything.

The tears fall.
 
 
 
Angel... Dark Wings Descending...angel_in_tears on April 27th, 2010 11:40 am (UTC)
Oh wow. This was stunning. Poor Obi-Wan.
I like how the memorial cup was mentioned, and how he gives into his grief.
F. J.: Lantern & Candles: Warmmorethanacandle on April 27th, 2010 12:56 pm (UTC)
Thank you.

I like how the memorial cup was mentioned, and how he gives into his grief.
I didn’t expect that to come up again but it fit within this; it felt something would’ve been lost if I hadn’t tied it back to that beginning, when he felt he had lost everything, and this moment when he realised he had.
Armchair DM: Carson: No no no AIEEE!!armchairdm on April 27th, 2010 03:11 pm (UTC)
Oh wow. And the story takes a turn I never, ever saw. Simply beautiful, and stunning. Well done.
F. J.: Lanterns: Warmmorethanacandle on April 27th, 2010 03:21 pm (UTC)
That was the intention - for all to stand-alone and yet be tied together with this ending.

Thank you.
"MJ": Obidala (Obi-wan behind Padme)londongirl27 on May 4th, 2010 11:26 pm (UTC)
Wow....the story definitely came full circle and in ways that I really didn't expect! I love it very much. ♥ And I can see why you separated this from the previous part. By doing that, I think you packed an even bigger emotional punch with the story. Extremely clever and effective, and it goes without saying - excellently written. You really are uber-talented at writing Obidala fic, F.J. :D
F. J.: Golden Candlesmorethanacandle on May 5th, 2010 02:07 pm (UTC)
I can see why you separated this from the previous part.
What I meant in the author’s notes to this was that when writing this, I felt the story had ended with that last part; but, when reading this story back, I felt this part, the one we’re reading, was where it should end and I wrote this.

I think you packed an even bigger emotional punch with the story.
That’s what I was aiming for with this ending; I wanted it to pack as big an emotional punch as possible for anyone reading – it certainly punched me when I wrote it. I cried when writing it because everything he was feeling flooded into the moment he realised what he’d lost.

Extremely clever and effective, and it goes without saying - excellently written.
Wow. Thank you! That is wonderful to hear.

You really are uber-talented at writing Obidala fic, F.J. :D
I’m blushing so much I don’t know when I’ll stop!