?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
04 February 2010 @ 04:17 am
Fic: ‘We will keep all our fingers.’  
Title: We will keep all our fingers.
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: (G)
Time Period: Immediately after AotC.
Summary: A promise between a padawan and a small child.

Author's Note: This is quick ‘n’ dirty (for definition see the F. A. Q. or check this post for the definition).

I saw an icon batch @ sweet__tea (again) very recently and saw the icon of Anakin’s hand and was reminded of something I’d read in a book once about an incident with one of Padmé’s nieces and Anakin about his new prosthetic hand. I found the book, re-read that part and saw there wasn’t much there about that incident; basically, it was ‘I saw his hand, I cried, he held my hand and told me we’d need good luck to keep our fingers.’

I rolled my eyes at the vagaries of the description of the moment and decided to write my own version of that scene. I wanted to see it. So, here it is.

Disclaimer
All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of Lucas; I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by him.


_______________________


Her eyes widened when she saw the padawan’s left hand; wires and gold metal fingers which flexed on occasion. His expression was stern, blue eyes hard; he listened to the conversation as he silently stood behind Padmé. Brown eyes welled with tears. Unseen by the adults speaking in low voices, a hand tentatively reached out, a finger outstretched, but drawn back when she saw what she was going to do.

She couldn’t touch the hand that she’d known to be flesh once. It wouldn’t be right. Wouldn’t it remind the Jedi padawan that once his hand had …

… had …

The unshed tears fell and she sniffled, trying to hold it back, but the sob escaped her. Poor Anakin! His hand was … it …

Her mother’s hands pulled back against her skirts, her aunt turned to see the source of the crying and her grandparents looked horrified by such a display; they didn’t understand, the small girl thought. Couldn’t they see how awful it must be for Anakin? He couldn’t … He’d lost his hand! Only Ryoo looked faintly sympathetic.

“I’m so sorry Anakin. Normally –”

“It’s all right, Sola.” Anakin’s expression softened and he knelt before the small girl, his Jedi cloak splashed around him on the ground. “What’s the matter, Pooja?” He asked softly, excluding everyone except they two. “Do I frighten you?”

She shook her head, brownish gold curls clinging to damp skin. “Your—your,” she hiccupped; her mother’s hands remained firmly on her shoulders, “hand!” She finally blurted.

He smiled gently, still ignoring her family around them, and held his left hand between them. “It’s still here, simply different.” Only Padmé saw the pain ripple along his cheek.

“But it’s not your real hand!” Her hands clapped over her mouth after the words had made their hurried escape. She hadn’t meant to say that! She didn’t want to remind him of the hand he had lost!

He laughed softly; he reached for her hand and held her fingers as though holding a precious object between his golden fingers. Her hand trembled, from the cool of the fingers and from the hand being so close to hers. “I had some bad luck and lost my hand. Perhaps you and I can change that luck and not lose our fingers in the coming years.”

She nodded rapidly, calmed by the laughter, his smile and the gentility of his voice, and her fingers curled around the metallic fingers that held hers. She leaned closer. “Our luck will change,” she promised with a solemn whisper. “And we will keep all our fingers.”

He pulled her closer into a hug and smiled, briefly resting his chin on her shoulder. “That we will,” he murmured so only she could hear. “That we will.”
 
 
 
emivemiv on February 4th, 2010 02:01 am (UTC)
I loved this; it was sweet and sad and touching all at the same time. I love that it was sympathy and not fear that made her cry—very realistic. Many people, in writing and in life, seem to so often boil children’s emotions down to the basics, forgetting or ignoring how truly complex their emotions can be. This goes hand in hand, no pun intended, with my next comment: For me, you completely nailed a child voice and temperament, especially for the age range. (No surprising, of course. ;))

Anakin’s temperament in this is spot on, and refreshing to read; it shows the maturity he gained throughout AotC, as well as harkens back the sweet innocent boy of tPM.

There was just the right amount of dialogue and I loved the dialogue in the last two paragraphs especially—very strong. The descriptions are weaving and beautiful. Some of my favorites:

his Jedi cloak splashed around him on the ground.

brownish gold curls clinging to damp skin.

as though holding a precious object between his golden fingers.

He pulled her closer into a hug and smiled, briefly resting his chin on her shoulder.

Especially that last one; it evokes such a strong visual/physical memory because it is so realistic; it is such a natural thing to do when hugging a child, to rest your chin on their shoulder. Such a small detail, put it makes everything else around it so much more real. I can’t just see it—I can feel it. Crazy good description.

All this lovely SW fic is getting me back into a SW frame of mind. :D
F. J.: Golden Candlesmorethanacandle on February 4th, 2010 10:01 am (UTC)
Many people, in writing and in life, seem to so often boil children’s emotions down to the basics, forgetting or ignoring how truly complex their emotions can be. This goes hand in hand, no pun intended, with my next comment: For me, you completely nailed a child voice and temperament, especially for the age range.
It’s good to know Pooja was very realistic in this; I wasn’t certain if I could write her reactions at all when I began writing this. All we’d seen was her excited greeting in AotC, then we saw her 3 years later at the funeral in a cameo role and in the back of my mind was the EU history I knew was associated with her. It’s made my day to know I wrote her so well to be believable.

Anakin’s temperament in this is spot on, and refreshing to read; it shows the maturity he gained throughout AotC, as well as harkens back the sweet innocent boy of tPM.
This is how I’ve seen Anakin in my mind when writing, or watching, him – the combination of the maturity and the sweet innocence.

There was just the right amount of dialogue and I loved the dialogue in the last two paragraphs especially—very strong.
Thank you! I was afraid I’d overdone the dialogue for this!

The descriptions are weaving and beautiful.
This is a relief to hear – I was hoping the descriptions would be able to let the reader know how I saw this when writing it.

Especially that last one; it evokes such a strong visual/physical memory because it is so realistic; it is such a natural thing to do when hugging a child, to rest your chin on their shoulder. Such a small detail, put it makes everything else around it so much more real. I can’t just see it—I can feel it. Crazy good description.
I had such a firm picture in mind when writing this story that I was hoping to share it with whoever read this – and if I’ve succeeded with one person, that makes me happy. Thank you for letting me know.
F. J.: Golden Candlesmorethanacandle on February 4th, 2010 10:05 am (UTC)
All this lovely SW fic is getting me back into a SW frame of mind. :D
To which I say: ooooh. I also hope this turns into something positive!


Yes, I forgot to C&P this part of my comment to the earlier comment I'd made. I should always have a warm mug of a preferred 'pcik me up' beverage nearby when I respond to comments!
Armchair DM: Carson: No no no AIEEE!!armchairdm on February 4th, 2010 07:38 am (UTC)
This fic really makes me think of the others betrayed by Anakin, essentially, by the end - the ones who aren't really thought of usually. It's always about Padme, and Obi, and sometimes Mace and Yoda. This brings back forcefully that he wasn't actually a bad man.
F. J.: Lantern & Candles: Warmmorethanacandle on February 4th, 2010 09:48 am (UTC)
This brings back forcefully that he wasn't actually a bad man.
No, he wasn’t. He also wasn’t always the spoiled, selfish boy everyone thinks Anakin to be due to the portrayals of him in the films.

I’m glad you were able to see he wasn’t ‘actually a bad man.’
pronker: evilanipronker on February 4th, 2010 08:27 pm (UTC)
Wonderful story and it makes me think of what a good parent he would have been *sigh*
F. J.: Lanterns: Warmmorethanacandle on February 5th, 2010 10:34 am (UTC)
Wonderful story
Thank you.

it makes me think of what a good parent he would have been *sigh*
I think people often look more at what he became than what he could have been and I'm glad my story was able to open that up for you.