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09 December 2016 @ 08:39 pm
Fic: ‘Tis the Season: Glue it.  
Title: ‘Tis the Season: Glue it.
Fandom: Hogfather
Rating: (G)
Time Period: After the events of the movie.
Summary: Death and Albert have a conversation.

Author's Note: This is quick ‘n’ dirty (for definition see the F. A. Q.).

Albert, Albert, Albert ...


Disclaimer
All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of Terry Pratchett and Vadim Jean (his interpretation); I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by them.


_______________________


THE ROBIN FLEW AWAY.

“What are you talking about, master?”

THE ROBIN FLEW AWAY.

“The robin flew away, y'say?”

YES.

“I have a question for you, master.”

YES?

“What robin?”

THE ROBIN FROM MY HOGSWATCH CARD.

To his eternal surprise, Albert didn't reach for a cigarette butt behind his ear. Nor did he drop his face into his hands and shake his head. Instead, he stares. “You glued a live robin to a piece of paper and thought it would stay?”

YOU SAID A HOGSWATCH CARD OFTEN HAD ROBINS ON THEM.

“Robins are often on Hogswatch cards, yes, but they're painted on. Not glued on while they're still alive.”

GLUED ON, YOU SAY?

“You didn't glue it on the card?”

I THOUGHT THE SNOW WOULD KEEP IT ON THE PAPER.

“You thought the snow would keep it there,” Albert repeats, slowly.

YOU SAID ROBINS AND SNOW WERE ON HOGSWATCH CARDS.

Albert remembers the conversation. He just hadn't thought Death of all the anthropomorphic beings he knew (his experience is limited, he admits after too many brandies) to act so human. Although, after Hogswatch, he wasn't at the top of everything to do with Death as he liked. “Next time,” he says after a moment or two, “glue it on.”
 
 
 
Armchair DM: Igor: Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!armchairdm on December 11th, 2016 08:57 am (UTC)
Oh for the love of the Auditors...

Poor, poor Albert.
F. J.: shalowater: golden candlesmorethanacandle on December 11th, 2016 03:04 pm (UTC)
Knowing Albert he'll blame a hangover from all those sherries he drank for that response!
Armchair DMarmchairdm on December 12th, 2016 03:09 am (UTC)
... knowing Albert he'd argue he hasn't had enough sherries.
F. J.: shalowater: golden candlesmorethanacandle on December 12th, 2016 03:41 pm (UTC)
Very true.