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05 April 2012 @ 03:11 am
Fic: ‘Don’t let go.’  
Title: Don’t let go.
Fandom: Doctor Who.
Rating: (PG)
Time Period: The Hungry Earth, season 5.
Summary: He realises, afterward, who was lost.

Author's Note: This is quick ‘n’ dirty (for definition see the F. A. Q.).

Watching The Hungry Earth, I had flashbacks to when the Doctor lost Rose at this one moment – when he lost Amy to the earth. I have these flashbacks every time I watch this episode. This time, in a mangled way, I wrote it down.

Dialogue below comes from the episode.


Disclaimer
All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of the BBC & Steven Moffat; I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by them.


_______________________


He tells her to run. He tells her to stay back. Of course, she doesn’t listen. They never listen, the good ones. They always help the other person. They’d be rubbish if they didn’t.

But this is too much like Rose. When he lost Rose.

“Aaaaa-my!”

She tells him the ground’s got her as he dives for her. No. Not this time. He couldn’t catch Rose but he can catch Amy.

He grabs her hand and pulls her toward him, away from the ever so hungry earth that’s intent on swallowing her whole.

“Don’t let go.”

“Never.” His hand tightens on hers; he’s never going to let go if he has his way and he’s determined to have it his way. Her face blurs and instead of red hair he sees gold; he blinks and the image is gone. Or so he tells himself.

She says words. He says words. She’s trying not to panic and he’s calm on the outside, lets her see the worry for her but no further. She’s not Rose. He won’t lose her like he lost Rose.

“Stay calm. If you struggle, it’ll make things worse.”

Who’s he telling to stay calm: him, or her?

He won’t lose her, he tells himself. Not this time. He won’t lose. He won’t. He’s got to be allowed this one; the universe owes him.

Whywon’tthatdrillstop!?

“I’m not going to let you go,” he promises. His fingers grasp her hand tighter and his jaw sets. He crouches on his feet, not letting her go. Her face blurs. The gold hair returns.

He couldn’t catch Rose but he caught Amy. He’s not letting go. He’s never letting go. He can’t lose her again.

“Don’t you give up!” He demands of the girl in front of him. Tears blur his eyes; he can’t lose her. Not again.

Through her hand, he can feel the strength of what’s pulling her down, away from where it’s safe.

Away from him.

“Amy! No!”

Her face is the first swallowed by the earth. Dirt covers her as she falls; she lets go of his hand last. He furiously digs, trying to get her back.

“NO!” A pause briefly falls. “No,” he whispers, his denial. “No. No.”

He jumps to his feet; tears hotly threaten. He points his sonic at the ground for readings. For anything that’ll tell him where she’s gone.

Gone.

He blinks back his tears. She’s gone. Again, she’s gone.

He hears footsteps; it’s a few seconds, maybe less, before the question registers. “She’s gone,” he replies, looking up. “The ground took her.”

It’s then it registers: it was Amy, not Rose. Rose is safe and Amy is gone.

Not Rose.

A deep breath before he turns to Nasreen and Tony. Amy, not Rose. Silently, he repeats that one phrase.

Amy, not Rose.
 
 
 
     Mandy: Eleven - I've Lost My Waya_phoenixdragon on April 4th, 2012 11:24 pm (UTC)
Ohhh, Doctor...this was where things just started to really go wrong for him. No matter how he tries to divert disaster - BE A NEW MAN...yeah.

*Sniffles*

*hugs you*
F. J.: Lantern & Candles: Warmmorethanacandle on April 5th, 2012 12:11 pm (UTC)
Maybe he can be a new man now; his desperation and panic in that scene made him seem quite old.

... maybe I should have put a tissue warning at the start?
Mindy: doctor who - amy - feeling domesticarliddian on April 4th, 2012 11:38 pm (UTC)
I like the idea of the Doctor's past companions (and especially Rose) sort of haunting him, of him deliberately trying not to think about them until a moment of crisis or similar. I liked this ficlet a lot - it's really well-paced and that sense of panic and desperation he feels really comes through. <3
F. J.: Lanterns: Warmmorethanacandle on April 5th, 2012 12:07 pm (UTC)
I like the idea of the Doctor's past companions (and especially Rose) sort of haunting him
Especially the ones he loses and can't save; I keep thinking of Adric (a 5th Doctor companion) when it comes to his being haunted.

(and especially Rose)
Gosh yes!

I liked this ficlet a lot - it's really well-paced and that sense of panic and desperation he feels really comes through. <3
I thought that it might seem clunky, or 'off' somehow, due to the panic and desperation.
Armchair DMarmchairdm on April 6th, 2012 02:08 pm (UTC)
Yeah see; this one's worse though. Rose was saved and returned to her mother. Amy? Potentially dead; and he has to answer to Rory...
F. J.: Golden Candlesmorethanacandle on April 6th, 2012 02:56 pm (UTC)
Maybe this is worse but in this instant? It doesn't matter, I feel. You could see in the episode it didn't matter; he just wanted to save her to prevent another loss.
Mae: matt as 11mae_linda on May 3rd, 2013 12:30 pm (UTC)
Ouch! Interesting idea.
F. J.: Three candlesmorethanacandle on May 3rd, 2013 02:18 pm (UTC)
How painful that must have been for him.
Maemae_linda on May 3rd, 2013 02:24 pm (UTC)
Agreed. It seems like that's the other half of the coin of being a Time Lord: relentless emotional hurt.

Or is it Moffat?
F. J.: Three candlesmorethanacandle on May 3rd, 2013 02:56 pm (UTC)
It's possibly just the other side of the coin.